THE ART OF MOVING ON: A FAMILY OUTLOOK

THE ART OF MOVING ON:  A FAMILY OUTLOOK

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that you keep the person close to you, but you do continue to pray for them. Find a way to get over that which is lacking or painful.

HOW TO GET OVER THAT IN THERE…

1.      Find a way to move on with your life. This can be realized by finding a place to pray. In silence, the heart is able to converse with Jesus. Close the outside world and love that your inner life, for you can’t give what you don’t have to anybody.

2.      Take along with you a picture of the person you want to release to God. It may be a relative, a family member, a colleague, a person you have been struggling to forgive and let go.

3.      Maybe you want to light a candle, listen to relaxing instrumental music. Feel it. Now let go the anger, the frustration, the hurt. Stop hurting yourself thinking others will suffer because you are suffering.

4.      Convince yourself that you want the best of in you and only you has the way forward of the type of outlook you want to portray or carry.

Sincerely surrender your life to God in your anger and struggles, don’t keep anything to yourself as turn back or throw back. We are usually afraid that once I let go, (name that you want to let go) what will I do to occupy myself with, so we continue carrying our grudges as an occupation yet it turns out to be occupational hazard to our health and spiritual growth. Allow yourself to be healed by the lord of your pains, and if you really and sincerely mean it, let God’s will be done.

We all have the need to feel we belong somewhere, to somebody at the end of the day. That sense of belonging drives us to come out of ourselves to a beloved friend or family members helps us out of it. It will all will depend to our disposition whether we need help or not, it’s all up to you and what you have formed and informed your mind on the way forward.

This feeling of closeness is to have something tangible to hold on to. What are you holding on so dearly that is costing your peace, tranquility and sobriety. Sometimes things we hold on thinking are very important and essential are never worth it. For example, getting angry with your parents, brothers and sisters or in-laws for many years is it worth it? or its simply pride, arrogance mixed with ignorance that inflates us to have a lot of air, forgetting someone can pierce our ego and we deflate to zero. Is it worth it?

 It’s all up to you and all see through the mirror of your heart and lenses of your soul. See what the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so, we are. The Reason why the world doesn’t know us is that it did not know Him.  (I John 3:1).RSV

When a family member is experiencing pain, we feel it too. But we can’t let it overcome us to the point where the whole family suffers. We need to understand deeply the ties that bind, but also be aware that we can’t let those ties that bind us up in unhealthy relationship to ruin us. Once you find yourself in relationship that does work, quit and move on with life, reconcile, seek help, pray about it. At the end of the day it’s all up to you not the person you think you hate.

We go through struggles but these challenges we ought to share with someone we trust. You can’t bare the struggle alone, you will break down and even breakdowns are often and occasionally take for repairs. You risk carrying a load of stress and fatigue beyond your human capacity and complicating your life balancing act.

There will be a family member struggling with some problem. It’s time to take it to the lord, not to leave it there, but the best thing we can do for a struggling family member is to ask the Holy Spirit to intercede on his/her behalf. Often time, once we are in pain, challenged, troubled, we have no time to pray, someone else has to help us to pray. Harken to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for thee do I pray. O LORD, in the morning thou dost hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for thee and watch. Psalm 5:2-3.

We ought to encourage our struggling family members to surrender, take heart and persevere through the storms and find refuge in God’s strength, it’s through the cross that we find our strength. Whatever cross you are carrying, God can’t give you a cross beyond your capacity and strength.

The LORD is the keeper; the LORD is your shade on the right hand. The sun shall not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and for evermore. Psalm 121:5-8

Take the spiritual high road, offer that person you are struggling with unconditional love with a conditional exposure to your life, and pray sincerely for him or her. Loosening ties with toxic loved ones, and by all means do so. It will do you some good.

Keep your beloved family members at heart but that doesn’t mean you take their afflictions to be your own. None of our families are perfect, we are after all human. But let’s remember first and foremost we are children of God and God is never dysfunctional. He created us whole without equal. Whatever the challenge our family members or beloved ones have, we do not have to take those challenges as our own and carry them forward. Although our parents gave birth to us, God made us. God doesn’t make mistakes.

Some families see each other only at weddings and funerals moments or gatherings, seldom on Sunday mornings, those who go to church together, some family members simply decide to stay at home to sleep a little more, or some simply go to different churches, or some simply don’t go to church at all. They resigned and retired from the church, waiting only for their bodies to be presented on the funeral service. They see the church as a petrol stations, not a family of believers.

We have become notorious with keeping our children with a lot of activities of the world, that we have no time for God. God becomes an entry into our calendars or date books and try as we might that we just can’t seem to squeeze Him in. God is the last resort, when our families are torn stressed or being torn apart. We need to put God at the forefront of our families. The demands on the family can become as an excuse for not going to church on regular basis.

THE WAY FORWARD/ WORKABLE PROGRESS

1.      Stick with the same prayer time every day, for practice makes perfect

2.      Try to select the time when the family demands are not so much, be organized.

3.      Tell whomever needs to know so that they won’t interrupt, that you are closing your door so you and God can have time alone, when they have to call you on phone. Switch it off. The world will not end or leave it in your kitchen or sitting room, thanks be to God for technology, after you will be informed who tried to get in touch during your offline.

4.      Reinforce family prayer time.

5.      Children should be encouraged to ask God for guidance, intervention, comfort, and love.

©Omukhulundu2017