ADULT PSYCHOSEXUALITY
The most important attitude of the adult is a positive attitude toward his or her sexuality. As an adult how have you been brought up to view sexuality, do you believe in yourself about what you inform yourself to be or what you have been schooled into as far as your human sexuality is concerned. There are some of us through the years have been taught that sexuality is innately evil. The really spiritual person is for the celibate, the one who abstains from marriage, and sexual intercourse. If not evil, at least it is earthy and the sort of thing one does in the dark corner apart from the judging eyes of God and neighbor.
Such an attitude misses the important point of sexuality being the gift of God. The Word of God revealed by the Holy Spirit through the prophets and apostles, explicitly refers to the wonderful potential of it. Responsible sexuality holds the key to great human joy and possibilities for ultimate human growth in spiritual insight and personal fulfilment.
Sexual compatibility involves an understanding of the sexual differences in psychosexuality. Males for example attain the height of sexual potency at about eighteen years of age while female mature in potential of sexual activity in the late twenties or early thirties. The man is easily stimulated to sexual readiness, whereas his mate may need preparation of a romantic aura for satisfactory sexual experience.
To keep married love exciting and romantic is a most rewarding task. Many couples begin to take each other for granted and develop habits of sexual scheduling and conformity which obscure the ever new delights of the sexual secrets of the marriage partner.
Marriage is not a reason to stop having dates, or wooing the beloved, or continuing the courtship. It’s through perennial practices such as these that conjugal bliss and mutual love will remain fresh and flowering. An attitude of openness and freedom in sexual play with one’s spouse, as depicted in the Songs of Solomon, will maintain the enthusiastic and exciting encounter of first love and will reinforce the mysterious enchantment of wedded happiness.
On the contrary, much of the difficulty in early marital adjustment relates to the guilt and anxiety of premarital sexual experimenting. This is compounded by the furtiveness and uncomfortable surroundings that usually accompany experiences of illicit sexual activity. That one needs premarital sexual experience in order to become an adequate marriage partner is a scientific nonsense and dangerous psychologically.
One of the maturing of marital experiences is the opportunity to discover together the mysteries and joys of heterosexuality. In the light of fullness and freedom of Biblically oriented sexuality, this can be a most stabilizing factors for marriage.
We live in the world where there are many who are frustrated in their lack of opportunity for sexual commitment. However, satisfactory sublimation in meaningful and enjoyable alternate tasks is always a present possibility. In any case, this is the providential ordination for the Christian whose full sexual experience is pending the provision of a marriage partner.
In conclusion, we can say that sexuality is one of the great and difficult tasks of the Christian, as well as one of the most fulfilling personal experiences.
We live in a culture in which, for the Christian, psychosexual development is a daily dialectic between the demand for personal purity and the tensions of sexual desire, stimulated by pornographic pressures at every hand. However, with confidence we can remember that our providential sexuality is God’s appointment and that He has provided a means of fulfillment of our sexual personalities in the mystery of marriage.
The tensions and tests of patiently preparing for this mystery will, perhaps, be alleviated if we remind ourselves that we should work out our own sexuality with fear and trembling, knowing that it is God working within us both to will and to do of His good pleasure.
Don J.B NYAMUNGA
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